Such thoughts can be particularly inconvenient, because those who have them are spiritual, religious and respectable people. Initially, it can be difficult to understand that attempts to prohibit such thoughts are actually not religious behavior, but an escape from religion.
When I say my prayers, I have the feeling that I am not in the right state and that the Lord may decide that I do not believe what I say. Even as I pray, I find myself thinking about sins, and the sins I think about seem to get worse and worse. I pray harder to distract myself from such thoughts, but blasphemous images reappear in my mind. I think it’s a punishment for my past misdeeds, but I don’t know what, and I can’t pray for proper forgiveness. I pray more and more. I’m afraid my soul is lost. I tried to talk to my priest, but I think,
A few months ago, walking into a Church, I suddenly thought, ” Who are you kidding? You don’t really believe in God.” Now I doubt everything I’ve ever believed in, even what’s good and what’s bad. The priest said that even the saints had doubts, but it was still unbearable.
When I get to a sacred place, like a temple, especially if it’s quiet, I feel like I’m about to scream something disgusting.
Thoughts are Disgust
These are thoughts that cause anxiety and disgust, depriving the pleasure of life or the expectation of something pleasant. They usually appear when you are doing something that brings joy. This includes, for example, the fear that you will think about having sex with one of your parents when you are alone with your girlfriend. As a result, you avoid such meetings with her.
I know I’m gay. I want to have a relationship with a girl. However, every time I imagine how I will kiss a girl and there will be intimacy, in my mind there are thoughts that it may be my sister. These are terrible thoughts, and they prevent me from having the kind of relationship I want.
It suddenly occurs to me that when I talk to a girl, I begin to imagine scenes of oral sex with my mother. I must make an effort to suppress such thoughts, or I fear I shall not be able to present myself in the best light. It bothers me so much that when I’m with a girl, I get drunk almost to the point of insensibility. Most girls leave me, and the few times I’ve been able to do anything, I can barely remember.
Whenever I’m in a restaurant, I always have a sudden vision of someone spitting on my plate before taking it out and putting it in front of me. I know it’s ridiculous; I think I saw that scene in some movie years ago, but when food comes, I can’t eat.
My girlfriend once said she hoped my penis wouldn’t break. I know she was joking, but I’m really pissed at her for it. I can’t forget what she said. It ruined everything.
My dog licks himself in all sorts of places and then my daughter. I can’t stand it, and I can’t help but think about all the germs and secretions she’s putting on my baby.