These types of obsessive thoughts focus on the fear that you may be living a life that doesn’t match your true sexual identity or orientation. Your thoughts are different from those of people who seek to explore their sexuality. They are filled with horror, not curiosity, and also involve an urgent need to know the answer and know it for sure. Your thoughts may upset you, even if you think that any orientation is acceptable, but this does not allay your fears. These thoughts puzzle you, because they do not relate to what you know about yourself. They take over your mind.
“What if I really am gay?»
Often it starts with a sudden rush of upsetting thoughts that seem to contradict what you’ve always thought of yourself.
I’m terrified when I think about being attracted to my roommate. He was heterosexual, and I was sure I was, too, because I had a girlfriend. I think that if I confess my feelings to him, then our friendship will end, and he will never be able to communicate with me calmly. I keep trying to test myself to see if I’m really attracted to him. I even watched gay porn to see what kind of reaction it would get, but it didn’t give me any answers. The situation only became more complicated. I can’t stop thinking about it.
I married my boyfriend, and he’s my best friend, but last year I suddenly started thinking that I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore, and it gave me a lot of trouble. I even thought that maybe I was a lesbian, and that was the most excruciating thing. For a short time I was able to get rid of this obsession, but now it does not leave me. I have no prejudice against being a lesbian.
“What if I’m heterosexual?»
These thoughts are not part of the natural process of self-exploration. They are different from ordinary thoughts.
I’m gay, I’ve lived with my partner for 13 years, and sometimes I have a dislike for him. They say it’s all right, but then I start to wonder if I’ve been fooling myself all these years into thinking I’m gay just because I’m too big a loser to try Dating women. Then I start thinking that if I like this or that woman, how can I do this to Steve? I mean, I like women. Then I have doubts, and I try to test myself. I even watched heterosexual porn to find out what kind of reaction it would cause me and who I would look at more-men or women. It was a waste of time, but I still feel uneasy about it. Where did this question come from after all these years?
“What if I’m transgender?»
Transgender people always feel that their gender identity does not correspond to the body in which they were born. However, obsessive thoughts about gender identity can arise in everyone.
I came across articles about transgender people, and now I do not let go of the feeling that my Breasts interfere with me because of their inadequate size. Then I had the frightening thought that if I didn’t want to have Breasts, it might well be that I was a guy trapped in a girl’s body, and that I was actually meant to be a guy. I’ve done additional searches on the Web and I’m worried that I have all the signs described. I can’t stop thinking about it, no matter how much I keep telling myself it’s stupid. How could I have such thoughts?